Essential Pub Conversations: We need you!

Even though we are experts at standing with beer in hand and talking utter tosh about a diverse range of subjects, we need your help as we continue on our quest.

Tell us: What are the big questions of Life, The Universe, and Everything that you need answering?

Do you desperately need to know what the greatest ever movie theme tunes are? Who the best number 8s in history are? Or even who are the worst sportsmen ever to have played for their country?

No matter how inane, trivial or downright stupid your suggestions are, they can’t be worse than the stuff already in our heads.

Put a comment on this page and give us your suggestions for future Essential Pub Conversations we can use during our challenge – we will try and give you the answers you are searching for.

NB The aformentioned answers will be extremely subjective and probably total guff.

43 responses to “Essential Pub Conversations: We need you!

  1. I make alot of journeys to and from St. Albans.. my return journeys are always on Sunday mornings and so I try to improve my intellectual capacity by tuning in to Chappers and Dave on radio 1. On receiving your email I was struck by the similarities between you guys and your quest and the aforementioned C&D. They specialise in 2 hours of nonsensical drivel with the occasional foray into genius conversation territory. With this in mind, I wondered if you might like to tackle the same subject that they did recently namely: What 5 things do you hide when bringing a lady back to your abode for the first time? Now I know that you both are happily hitched but maybe you are no longer concealing things that you should – is the mystery going guys with the appearence of your emergency grey skivvies? Maybe this conversation will help prompt you to keep that magic and mystery alive….. I await your comments. Enjoy your trip and pints. Amb x

    • Love it! Thanks for the thoughts. I can’t really see myself as Chappers OR Dave though, since one is a Man Utd fan and one is an Everton fan – the two sworn enemies of Liverpool! Also, we probably stick to nonsensical drivel and away from forays into genius….
      I like the question though – definitely one for the shortlist.
      See you soon I hope!

  2. why do people think that the earth is round??

    • Clearly a deep and thoughtful discussion required on this one, covering all areas from Geography to Religion and the nature of Creation. Probably best on about the 17th or 18th pub of the day…..

  3. OK Right some conversation prompts:
    1) Halle Berry or Pamela Anderson?
    2) Rugby or Football which is the best sport and why?
    3) What would we have done without Pythagorus? (sorry if spelt wrong)!
    4) Given the RBS thing – What rules would you impose for robust financial risk mangement and still make a mint?
    5) Italian Food v Spanish Food 🙂 Discuss!

  4. Thank you! A couple of thoughts instantly come to mind:
    1) Angelina.
    2) No contest. Egg chasers rule.
    3) Probably failed maths O level.
    4) and 5) Are definitely due for heated debate in a lubricated environment – just to see how abusive we can be about bankers and to settle the salami vs chorizo war!

  5. From Dave Goram….

    Top 10 worst inventions… aka blackberry… etc

    followed by the top 10 best inventions….

  6. Favourite kids programmes (guaranteed conversation starter)
    Who was harder? Big Daddy or Giant Haystacks?
    Who would you rather have drunk with – Dean Martin, Ollie Reed or Richard Burton?
    In the (let’s face it unlikely!) event that someone was to play you in a film or play about your life who would it be?
    Most entertaining drinking war story
    Stupidest drinking bet ever
    Funniest thing you’ve seen someone else do when drunk

    I could go on but not until you invite me on one of these drinking days!!!

    p.s. JW can you send me that pic you took at the wedding on your phone? It was hilarious!

    • I like all of these! Gonna really enjoy working out who would play me in a film. Some would say that one of your questions has already been answered though, because this marathon is possibly the stupidest drinking bet ever….
      Definitely see you for a day out soon.

  7. Hi guys,

    Glad to see the initial enthusiasm is being followed up by some serious dedication to the cause. Perhaps you ought to have some form of umbrella waving implement as per those hideous tour guides to further advertise your intrepid adventure through the London hinterlands? Anyway, a few ideas that should lead to deep, meaningful and world changing moments… not:

    Best pair of norks sighted – clothed or otherwise(given that wives obviously take to top spots 🙂

    Best try ever

    Favourite thrashing of South Africa/Australia/New Zealand/France (insert name of personally most hated team)

    Favourite rant by chum (a personal favourite starts ‘pinko, commie fascist b*st*rds…’ when referring to drinking members of Gari times coined by C. Holmes and then taken up by D. McMillin Esq)

    and not forgetting

    Deepest, darkest and most dreadful hangover following participation at a particularly good match watching session

    • Awesome suggestions. Will definitely need wifely approval for the first one though! And quite frankly the last two could take us years to finish – there have been many, many rants over the years, and of course many, many post-match hangovers……

  8. 1. How many cooks does it really take to spoil a broth?
    2. What came first, the chicken or the egg?
    3. why does dust always just appear?
    4. Is the ‘ABC’s of sexual health’ and ‘daddy loves his girls’ appropriate coffee table reading?????
    5. Why do people always stop as they come off the tube carriage right in front of me and then amble away?

    • I like these very much. Not sure about the coffee table books though! And do we specifically have to discuss why people on the tube stop in front of YOU? Or can it be anyone?
      Oh, and it only takes one cook to spoil a broth. As long as that cook is me.

  9. Pick your Lions Test and dirt tracker 15’s.
    Who will be the surprise call ups?
    Best 10 authors who liked a drink, and their best 10 books
    Top 10 Bands which changing one word become drink related eg “Beers for Fears”, and similarly the top 10 songs using the same criterion

    Keep up the good work

    Pip pip

    R

  10. If you were to drive non stop for 24 hours how many times would you be able to go around the M25?

  11. Disappointing not to see Big Gavin Hastings in the line up, especially since you have a strong welsh bias – how could Tom Shanklin be a potential great??
    Rory Underwood; Dusty Hare; Pete Butler; Grant Fox never even mentioned? Don’t you dare go leaving out Teaguey when you do the forwards. (By the way Pete Butler was a family thing I threw in for good measure)
    As for tube related songs – I would like to nominate anything by Northern Line and Courtney Love for showing her lady Garden on the Tube.

    • Nice work fella.
      Eldest brother is completely in love with Gav, so I had to keep him out on principal. Besides, he’s not even first choice in the Welsh side! Extra points for being barred from all the pubs in Cardiff though…
      As for the others, all good, but surely pre-pro era tho, plus Hare and Fox were mainly fly halves weren’t they.
      Kind of agree with you about Shanklin though. He just gets better and better. Benefit of hindsight/sobriety and all that…..

  12. Just realised cntd isn’t short for what I thought it was; just as well as you’re still only on day one.
    How about some Bond pub bollocks? Second best Bond? Best film for each Bond? Best Bond theme song? Can anyone remember what Quantum of Solace was about?
    Keep up the sterling work.
    Beer soon.

    • Definitely have plans in place for talking a lot of shite about Bond.
      Come and join us, you can start the conversation….

  13. Jamiroquai – rules. Specially on the Tube – it somehow goes with the clickity clack of the wheels on the rails! – Besides which it’s superb music for getting into a thinking chilled zone.

    More conversation pieces! (since you made me laugh with the ansa’s you gave me on the other)

    If you had unlimited funds what is the first ten things you would do that you can’t do now.?

    What does 80% carbon reduction mean to the way we live our lives? (topical huh – when you really think it through? – alcoholic creativity could give some really wierd answers here )

    Will we still be allowed to make Beer? Or does beer manufacture “eat” Carbon? I can see a whole project coming along on this one!

    Should disabled scooters have their own Grand Prix?

    Nuff for now. I await the output from your next tube trek.

    • I will now post a lecture on why the brewing industry is vital to the survival of the planet……actually I might save that till later.
      There’s a little bit of gold in there though Trina, cos I for one would pay serious money for a hospitality box at the Shopmobility Grand Prix!
      PS – I hope you got Jamiroquai right last night…

  14. I’ll think you will find it is Gav Henson I would turn for.

  15. Question:what is the record amount of travel cards lost on a pub crawl
    Observation: not my hand he was holding Steve
    Suggestion:favourite film cameos? Spike milligan Life of Brian; Chris Walken Pulp Fiction(got to be one scene only)

  16. Answer: More than two.

    Film cameos – Lance Armstrong in Dodgeball. Hands down. Although, this may require further discussion……

  17. What should we call our second son due in 2 weeks time ? (Older brother is called Luke)

  18. Answer to last question: Darth
    Suggested pub topic: How many famous people can you name with household items in their name? eg. Jeremy ‘Iron’s, MC ‘Hammer’, continue…

  19. To Sarahs question – Bo obviously. (then should you ever have a girl – Daisy)

    🙂

  20. Sarah
    How about Hans
    Then a third son called colin (col for short)
    This giving a ridiculous movie inspired scream at your sons in later life.
    Gareth

  21. sorry Gareth – you are going to have to explain……

  22. Men – hail.

    It is fitting that tomorrow is the anniversary of the hatching of this superb idea and may I lead the chorus of congratulations on what has been achieved so far.

    That said, I have blogged this morning on great subject for your conversations at http://calxeurope.blogspot.com/2009/04/office-speak-101.html which is about jargon used in the office – so it maybe sales 101 to you by I would like to see how you boys vebalise it.

    To throw in the melting pot – how many ferrets can you get in Jordan’s bra vs. Pam Anderson’s, if you were a pair of knickers who would you most like to belong too, name 10 cities without an Irish pub in them, 10 best British films, celebrities with animals in the name, what are the best devices yet to be invented (like the automatic beer replicator etc).

    That should keep you going for while.

    Dunny

    • Thank you for those kind words sir!

      Loving your blog post on office speak by the way. I once had someone from my sales team tell me he wanted to “throw a few things in to the strategy wok, and see what we could cook up”. Awesome.

      Other than the fact that I don’t believe there is a single city anywhere without an Irish pub in it, I daresay we may have to take some of your fine suggestions further…….

  23. Here’s a pertinent subject: which hairstyle’s the coolest – 80’s mullet or ‘le side-parting rouge’….

  24. I think we came up with one on wednesday before or during the pub quiz…. was it the best/worst cover versions?

  25. Katanga!

    I had a surreal moment myself when I read the front page dated 15 June and found the bold men wearing coats and talking of Winter Warmer’s and getting out of the cold. Imagine my surprise when I realised it was 15 Jan being talked about.

    As for my question on 10 cities without Irish pubs, someone told me that Tehran doesn’t have one – and I am surprised in that nation of change that there isn’t at leasta Kitty O’Shea or similar.

    To have discussions on Lions XVs is passe now but I think I posed one about the top 15 players who never played for the Lions – try that when you are 5 sheets to the wind.

    Finally my suggstion is 10 great walking feats – I will contribute the Long March, whatever Ghandi’s was called, Moses’ effort but surely none can beat Stocky’s 4 hour forced march from Central London to Selby Avenue, St Albans.

  26. How about the best and worst smells in life!>?? maybe have a list for the boys and one for the girls… as I’m sure they will have some differences!!

  27. oh how about the top ten worst decisions every made, this could be broke down into sub categories like football managers!, sport persons, historical figures, PMs!,(+ politicians ) and inventors!

  28. Always, football. Leaves me cold…

  29. (Theydon) Bois Bois Bois – Sabrina
    Theme from The Littlest Holborn – Terry (Shepherd’s) Bush
    Cockfosters! – Sweet
    Wouldn’t it be Goodge (Street) – Nik Kershaw
    Mudchute the Runner – Kasabian
    Amershamus – Falco
    The Pinner Takes It All – Abba
    Highbury and IsThisLove – Bob Marylebone
    Ba Ba Ba, Ba Barbican – The Beach Boys
    (West)ferry Across The Mersey – Gerry and the Pacemakers
    Get into the (Ladbroke) Grove – Madonna
    It’s All Oval Now – The Rolling Stone(bridge Park)s
    Houn(slow East) Dog – Elvis Presley
    Than-kew (Gardens) For The Music – Abba
    Lay Leyton Lay – Bob Dylan
    Good Morning, Good Morning(ton Crescent) – The Beatles
    Seargant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Bank – The Beatles
    Don’t Push Me, Cos I’m Close to the Edg(ware Road) – Grandmaster Flash & Maida Vale
    Harrow(-on-the-Hill) – Lionel Richie
    Holler(way Road) – The Spice Girls
    Elephant & Castle(s Made of Sand) – Jimi Hendon

    Do I win £5?

  30. Hi folks,

    Kilburning down the house – Talking Heads
    I’m going to leave old Sudbury Town – Roger Whittaker
    Go West (Acton) – Pet Shop Boys
    Dont you make my brown eyes B(aker)loo – Carly Simon (?)
    Waterloo (and City line) ABBA
    “Doing the Lambeth North”
    Smoke on the (Canada) Water – Deep Purple
    Any track by All Saints – The station not the band
    Theydon Bois – Sham 69

    Do we split the £5 50:50?

    Best to all,

    R

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